LOVE

NO IM NOT READY TO BE A MOM

I DONT WANT TO HAVE A BABY

I DONT WANT TO BE PREGNANT

I KNOW I HAVE TO GROW UP NOW

I KNOW ITS GOING TO BE HARD, LIKE REALLY HARD

I KNOW IM GOING TO WANT TO GIVE UP

I KNOW AT SOME POINT IM GOING SO CRY SO HARD

MY HEAD HURTS AND IM GOING TO WANT TO CRAWL TO MY OWN MOMMY

AND BE THE BABY AGAIN

BUT I WONT BE ABLE TO

I KNOW IM GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE MY LAST TO SOMEOONE ELSE

I DONT WANT TO BE STUCK IN THE HOUSE WHILE MY FRIENDS

GO OUT

YES MY LIFE IS GOING TO GO FRM CRUISE MODE, TO MANUAL IN A MATTER OF SECONDS

AND NO I CANT LET MY MOM DO IT FOR ME

AND YES I WILL BE AFRAID

AND YES I AM SCARED NOW

AND NO IVE NEVER TOOK CARE OF ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES ME

I UNDERSTAND I WILL HAVE TO WORK.SCHOOL.AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT WITH

ANOTHER LITTLE LIFE

AND STILL PASS, AND NOT CALL INTO TO WORK BECAUSE IM TIRED

I KNOW THIS ISNT LIKE HIGHSCHOOL AND I KANT GET A DR'S NOTE

OUT OF THE MESS I GOT MYSELF INTO

AND THEN IM GOING TO CRY AGAIN

BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO BE THE STRONG ONE NOW

YES IM ALONE IN ALL THIS

NO THE FATHER LEFT, ILL BE DOING THIS BYMYSELF

YES I UNDERSTAND THAT MAKES EVERYTHING TEN TIMES WORSE

YES I UNDERSTAND I WONT BE DATING LIKE A YOUNG WOMAN CAN

AT MY AGE

NO IM NOT OK WITH THAT

YES I AM DEPRESSED AND ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME

NO IM NOT GETTING AN ABORTION TO AVOID ALL THE PAIN

I COULDNT LIVE WITH MYSELF

IS THAT THE BEST DECISION FOR ME. MAYBE NOT

AM I SURE ?

NO IM NOT,

BUT I AM SURE IM NOT GOING TO LET THAT WAY ON MY HEART

WHILE U ALL SMILE. AND IM DYING INSIDE

NO I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A PARENT

YES, I DO KNOW WHAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

YOU CAN GIVE A CHILD

Me And Him

By a splash of serendipity and a little luck

i came across him

first thing came to my mind, "never again"

but how beautiful he was to me

like a sunrise, no, sun set over the islands sea

perfect complexity

i understood him however, for like my fingerprint

he was unique

and my heart danced to his heart,

as together we created another heartbeat

oh but he left, yes he did

and i dont know how to feel

because i cant tell if the heartbeats real

its too soon to tell

and everywhere i go i still smell his smell

breathing away the sanity thats left in me

suffocating myself at the same time

while i let marvin gaye tell me everything will be fine

and tupac say keep ya head up, and r.kelly sympathise with me saying i know ur fed up.

i wish i didnt tear up, every time i looked up

the thought of me and him coming to an end

its horrible a nightmare, we're not even friends

when i close my eyes i drift off to no where,

the place where no heartbeats exsist

and love never resist

and pain is healed with a kiss

so i write my lyrics to this

open my eyes and me and the heartbeat is back to reality

its just me and the heartbeat

wondering if he is missing me

actually like how im missing the we

we had before this heartbeat came inbetween us

when we had no inbetween us

you know the naked truth

he got me pleading all my sins in the preachers booth

he got me going down

and im not sure if this was his idea

but like drake he is easily influenced by the niggas he's around

oh but what about the heartbeat

now im crying on the ground

the heart beat that ruined my life, because it wants a chance a life

yes my selfisnish, childishnis, immaturity aint right

but niether is a baby having a baby

\

More than you and me

The naked truth.

lies dont come between us
because there is nothing inbetween us
not a layer of clothing
but a bead of sweat
heavy panting
while inbetween strokes trying to catch our breath
giving me all of you like you owe me a debt
the bed is moist and our love is wet
this is amazing much more then sex
the naked truth is
this is more than you and me

STORY OF LUST LIKE A BULLET

this lust to my brain is almost like a gun to my heart you feel this pain and ache with me just the same we torture each other like its a game you fall apart and call my name while i look at you and turn away with hate in my eyes but astranged love in my heart til death do us part til love kills us bothyour love is like poison to me grief and torment to befolded up like laundry you want meto wear it on my sleeves i would do anything to get away fromyou and thats just not righti ts not worth the fight its not worththe restless nights the long days without sun light its almost like . . . you robbed me of happiness and you filled me up with stress so you can clean up all this messand you think im lying so your so quick to test and ditest but you always follow the rest and get upset and say its my fault it is im caught between a rock anda hard place and when we kiss. . .

is it hurting so much for you to stay alivedont you think it hurts more to diebut still you strive on heart ache and painyou stay real to the game and continuoslyignore me calling your name what a shame dont whipser in my earso i can hearwhat i can seeim perfectly fine with out you hurting me this poem may seem long but i got alot on my mind and if you stay and listen you just might find somone who cares and cant stand the stressso if that means i have to pull the trigger myselfso ill do it and with you get help dont hope and dream that were still togetherbecause were not and you ruined a perfectly good forever

This Morning

Today i awoke,

and i rose to realize that good things fall apart so better things can come together.

Today i awoke to freedom and bliss of the heart

to realize that not only was love a force to be reckoned with but that its somthing you create, realizing this, my eyes opened to my mind, and said, happiness is not somthing that can be found, yet its somthing that also must be created.....

I realized i was only human, I saw myself as a timid weak willed creature, who somehow found a way to servive in this wild life on earth. I realized that i loved to be held, i realized how comforting being in your arms really is to me, that sharing my soul with you is the least i can do for such a beautiful creature. Today i awoke, and when i did, I thanked God. Not only did i thank God for waking me, but i thanked God for having me be so speacil to him, for him to take time out of his busy day to create you, just for me. Today when i awoke, i didnt have to seek for strenght, i thought about you, and i was empowered.

And i realized all this before i even stepped outta bed.

SEEK GOD, AND YOU'LL FIND ME

I once heard, that a womans heart should be so buried in God, that a man should have to seek him first, to get to her.



Many Women have gone so far astray that all you have to do is seek a nightclub and you will get in her draws. I m here to question life's discriptive meanings... to challenge our moral characther. God is a very forgiving and slow to anger God. Why wouldnt you want to be buried in his grace, in his protection. As women we tend to complain about the pain a man has inflicted on us, "If it dont look like God, it aint love". What does God look like ?



Well physically im not sure, but i do know however that somtimes your heart see's things, that are blind to ur eyes, and understands things the mind cant fathom. Thus, God looks alot like a cool breeze on a hot summers day, a thirst quincher way beyond water, a smile never out of place, a person who gives undeserved kindness, peace, letting my heart beat steady, a glow, the light at the end of a tunnel. Yes, if he doesnt look like this, it isnt love. A couple that prays together, grows together as one, then becomes inseperable, strong, able to withstand, and endure all trails, and tribulations thrown at them.

Passion

Sex is a recreational event to this generation. What happened to meaning ? what happened to feeling ? What happened to emotion ? where did the passion desolve to ?? Sex is the actual act....Lets make love. The reason behind the act. The motive Behind my reason.

This moment is our invisible bondage, chaining us together for the duration of forever, if, that is, the moment is with the one who can forgive you, before you sinned, love you before you, give them a reason to love, and kiss you where it hurts before, the pain appears. This however is taken for granted, by both, male and female. Once i can close my eyes, and visualize us as one, visualize you as my soul, in which case i carry you every where i go, Once i'm to the point where you make love to my mind, and turn me on mentally before you even thought about touching me, then and only then are we on the same level to where we are able to take this feeling and mold it into an emotion that can be physically exspressed. Passion. Another word for love, just past the point of infactuation, and bliss or Passion, the position where love becomes just a word, and your actions are more important than however beautiful i can find a way to put the way i feel about you into words. Where my emotions wrap me up in an invisible blanket of sweat, where heavy breathing and desperate panting is our own secret language, that only me and you understand, a place where we live in each other, for not just a few hours, but all day . This passion, where forever seems like just a fews hours, "damn, thats not long enough", the dictionary doesnt have enough words in it so i can describe how i feel, at this point when i run into a dead end, like a brick wall, my mind cant go through, and my body takes over, and blends us together like a milk shake, like blue and yellow make green, locked as one, chained up, handcuffed together, key word WILLINGLY. Once again, What happened to meaning ? what happened to feeling ? What happened to emotion ? where did the passion desolve to ?? Sex is the actual act....Lets make love. The reason behind the act. The motive Behind my reason.